Consent Disclaimer

I was on a call the other day with a woman who said you have to be careful what you accept as normal. It stuck with me in more than one way. There have been many things in my life I’ve accepted to go on for some time because of one reason or another. It could be family, money, a spouse, children, or something else - but something ties us to a decision to tolerate certain circumstances for longer than we would like or longer than we should.

Does this mean we accept those circumstances as normal?

Does it mean we are sacrificing a piece of ourselves?

I’m a huge advocate for having and guarding your core values. As long as you don’t jeopardize those, are you in the clear?

What if you’re upfront to yourself about your motives? For example, “I’m only working around the clock with no self-care to get a job done. When it’s over, things will go back to schedule.”

I think the point of her statement didn’t lie in the temporary. At least that is how I interpreted the potential for something to become normal.

It’s the concern that unknowingly, certain circumstances become our normal. Some of those circumstances can affect your health, relationships, your value, your personal worth and so much more. Her statement forced me to look at some things in my life and allowed me to intentionally create some safeguards to make sure I’m living the life I want to live.

Here are some recommendations:

Have something to anchor yourself to: I personally anchor myself to rhythms. I have certain non-negotiable appointments with myself that keep me grounded (working out, quiet time, connection with my family, etc). Once you set your non-negotiables, then you are able to look within yourself and identify your personal boundaries. Intention is everything, so it is important to know what these things have a purpose in your life, for example, to calm you down, clear your mind, make you prepared for the day, etc.  

Know your limits:If you know what your limits are, don’t push beyond them. Limits exist for a reason so utilize them! Not expressing your limits will give the impression that you can handle more than you actually can which will lead to burnout and unmet needs. As discussed above, it is important to have boundaries in place to protect yourself from reaching your limit.

Check-in with yourself: At the end of each week, I reflect on my goals to be sure I am on track. It’s a quick check-in and keeps me focused. You can take five seconds out of your day, while you wash your hands or drive, to reflect on how you are feeling and what you need. This self-reflection is essential to taking care of your boundaries as well as ensuring a content and happy life.

Never use normality as an excuse to continue to have your needs unmet and your boundaries crossed. The first step is identifying. Make sure you dig deep and write what your boundaries and non-negotiables are so you can use them in moments of need.

Let us know what some of your non-negotiables are by sharing with us on our social media today!